I must confess that I am having a very hard time being joyful right now. It has been extremely hard for me to adjust to having two little ones and getting little to no sleep. I fear that I am so tired and cranky most days that I am becoming a bad mom. Landon was always such a good sleeper so I don't know what to do about Jonah. I know that his sleep problems must stem from the fact that we have been traveling so much due to Adam's interviews, but I really want to fix them. Jonah is the sweetest most beautiful little baby, but he will only sleep if he is held or sometimes in his carseat. He has become so used to his grandparents holding him that when I actually try to put him down for a nap he screams and screams. I can even rock him to sleep and as soon as I set him down he wakes up. Poor Landon is dying for attention from me and says things like, "put him in swing, put him in carseat, put him in crib". People keep telling me that Jonah will grow out of it, but when is that supposed to happen? I don't know how much more lack of sleep my body can take. I want to be joyful because I know that God has blessed me so much with my new little baby, but it is really hard.
I have also been pretty sad about the fact that I still can't fit into my clothes. My mom took me out to buy a few things and I had the hardest time picking things out. For the past three years I haven't bought any new clothes (except for a few maternity items) so I don't even know my own taste anymore. I am definately not stylish these days. My idea of an outfit is the same pair of saggy jeans I wear everyday with a t-shirt. I pair this with my hair in a bun most days. I would love to wear make-up and get dolled up, but I am lucky if I get to put on deodorant and clean undies every morning. Oh what has become of me? I know that this is just for a time in my life, but I truly hope that it passes quickly.
****I'm sorry about the depressing post, but it actually made me feel a little better to get it off of my chest.
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3 years ago
6 comments:
Remember that this too shall pass. DOn't you hate comments like that. Okay, but it is true. But remember when you are home, call me and I will watch the boys so you can take a nap. Lean on your friends, that is what we are here for.
I love you and think that you look beautiful!!
I'll say some extra prayers for you and the boys. I have more thoughts but I'll have to email them later. Miss you lots!
WHAT A PRESENCE OF LOVE. MOTHERS DO THAT ALL THE TIME AND THEN WHEN IT IS ALL OVER THEY REJOICE IN THEIR FASCINATIONS WITH HOW HARD AND BURDENING IT USE TO BE. GOD CHOSE HIS MOTHERS WELL AND CHOSE WOMEN OVER MEN TO BE THE VERY ONES TO BE TASKED TO BEAR AND TO RAISE HIS OWN FLOCK. WHAT GREATER DUTY THAN TO BE CHOSEN AND TO ACCEPT LIFE AT ITS BEGINNING AND TO MOLD CREATION IN ONES ARMS. YES, MOTHERHOOD IS WORK AND PAYMENT COMES FROM THE LOVE THAT IS CREATED AND NURTURED. MOTHERHOOD IS ALSO A GIFT WRAPPED IN GOD'S BLESSINGS AND LOVE. ALISHA YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY IN ADAM AND YOUR BOYS. GOD'S GIFT TO YOU IS PRICELESS. I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND ALL YOUR BOYS. KEEP UP THE "GOOD WORK" AND YES I KNOW THAT THE WORD "WORK" IS REALLY UNDERSCORED.---------CIAO
I know Alisha. I felt the same way after Olivia was born. So overwhelmed and exhausted. Everyone told me adjusting to two was harder than three even! Aren't you glad to know that since you plan on having a lot more?!! You really need to take April up on her offer especially without having family here. My mother--in-law helped me a lot with just taking one or the other. You need to get breaks where you can to stay sane. I drank too much coffee during that time! Go back and read some of my December through March blogs......I vented a lot!
I know that my mom said she was awfully critical of other moms...until she had my brother. Then when she had two kiddos, and the youngest one (my bro) was a little more tempermental, she discovered that it was not her "phenomenal" parenting skills that were in play with her first (me). As you know with Landon, the time passes quickly and I assure you that in no time you will be in a happier place. Lean on your friends...they are your Christian family and that is what they are there for! Wish I could be there to help. Hugs from Central Texas!!!!
Alisha,
I am not sure if you will remember me from the ACU days, but I found your blog and wanted to say hi (and not be one of those stalkerish people!!). It looks like you have a beautiful family and I wish you all the best!
Jennifer (Guess) Rigoulot
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